Salao Heart.

Are you in this world for me? Why I am thinking like that? Although I am missing you still I am living with that.

But life isn’t the same, I am empty inside but trying to face the pain. There are so many things to be shared but time isn’t on our side that’s what I feel. You are not here, went away so suddenly and fast.

Don’t know how this thought came. Why this is happening? Tell me how this happened? Trust me..my all happiness is linked to you if you are not near there’s nothing…. don’t go away. My eyes look for you, my ears want to hear you, my arms want to feel you.. how can I live without you? If possible tell me why this is happening… you are attached to me like heart to a body.

I trust you more than I do anyone else.. I miss you more than anyone else.. believe me. I laugh when you laugh, I talk when you talk, I forget all my sorrows when I see you, please come back. Way back in school I was taught “vacuum” and now I am feeling it.

Enlightened people say..”let go”. But trust me on this one..it’s really difficult. How can we do that when that thing is the most precious to us. And for how long, how many times? All these questions are crippling me and eating from within.

The day we met.. you made me yours and taught me to laugh, like someone came into a dark room with a candlestick.I haven’t seen love, never known love only heard stories. Those dreams that never came to me when I slept, you made me see in the daylight. Life was colorful, it was beautiful as someone was distributing stars and I opened my arms and collected them all.

My heart burnt, tears came out don’t know what people started calling me but I laughed while I cried because you came into my dreams and laughed. When you went away happiness went away, fire was there but no light. I tried.. I tried to console my heart but.. it didn’t… tried many things but didn’t work out.

My last words, drowning breath, dimming sight will all look for you… come once. Nobody can bear this pain for so long. I can’t forget you even on trying, without you I fumble, that lonely voyage where I can’t see the land, no signs of life. My cockboat needs a sailing mate, a friend, a companion to sail across the seven seas.

I am travelling from so long..i need water, shade give me your hand and make this journey easier. Take me out from the depths of my despair. Give solace to my vagrant feet and soul. With your presence every season seems more wonderful, every mountain looks like a piece of stone, journey of miles are covered in no time.

I know.. and also my heart that we have to go away from this world, but we can share some moments together and make it indelible. It would be so euphoric. My heart runs bare footed and sings, that the person will come, for whom you have been waiting for so long.  Come and be my eye of desire, pilot of my soul.

I have dreams, destination, places to go, but the past memories which I can’t forget. I am helpless that I can’t go back and the pain of this separation is holding me back. Speak up.. as my heart is broken, don’t forget me… that’s what I want to say. This heart is fixated, it’s just a picture. I tell him… break this illusion, it says that it’s a shackle. There is no weak link and I don’t have any control over it.

Walking alone makes you think and the thought that comes to me is that for everything there’s time. Friendship, love, care etc. That was not my time that doesn’t mean that the friendship, love, care was not mine. I have done some mistakes some small and some big and I accept them. Help me to learn from them and conquer my weaknesses.

As I have said “enlightened people say” they also say that… “things happen, eventually”. I somewhat believe in this. I don’t know what made me write this post? It’s hard to say… anguish, solitude, misery !! Don’t know. I am tired, enjoying the serenity and peace of being alone.

It goes without saying that this post -it’s a philosophy, coined so incredibly like that all good people, I came close, therefore I am alive. That’s the beauty of this journey up the spectrum of the rainbow.

It’s been a long day without you my friend, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. [Charlie and Wiz, 2015].

I am finishing it now, so that it can be started later.

No heart is odious,
No heart is implicitly comfortless,
But some heart, though unknown,
Responds to my own.

~Gaurav Dey